Preparing the Soul - Week 1
Somewhere in the sprint between Thanksgiving and Christmas life happens. At least, it’s supposed to. We hope and plan, and then, we are bombarded with decorations, parties, Christmas music, hallmark movies, shopping, spending, and more shopping. These are the holiday accoutrements of a culture that doesn’t quite know how to mark a moment as “special” without excessive spending and far too many commitments. Much is good, more is better, and less is forgettable. This might as well be the seasonal mantra hoisted in green and red and enveloped with a wreath. But where did the life go?
In the spirit of the season, we promise ourselves, "this year will be different." We will drink it in more deeply, savor the finer moments, and slow down to a manageable pace so the memories we etch in are full and rich—and not a blur. And each January we arrive in the New Year exhausted, emotionally indebted to excessive commitments, and very often, financially indebted to the generous deal-setting retailers all around. This isn't new to anyone who has spent time in North America, or the western world more broadly. Our cultural memory is full of cautionary tales. The Grinch and Ebenezer Scrooge, as familiar as they are, have been coopted from their moral purposes to become just another set of Christmas characters to enjoy without hearing the lessons at their stories' center. Dickens describes Scrooge, at A Christmas Carol's beginning, as a "squeezing, wrenching, grasping, scraping, clutching, covetous, old sinner!" He would fare well at the Black Friday rush. I would guess that, for many of us, near the end of the holiday grind we feel like a squeezing, wrenching, grasping version of ourselves. Perhaps this isn't you, but it may serve us to consider our Christmases past.
It’s estimated that during the four days following Thanksgiving 2022, between Black Friday and Cyber Monday, American consumers spent nearly 20 billion dollars. 20 billion dollars! Billion with a “B.” That kind of money makes you ask questions. Firstly, what?! The number alone could lead to existential crisis: What ache are we trying to satisfy with all that frenzied activity and holiday spending? Has this strategy ever produced the "Christmas" memories we were looking for?
With any luck, we don't need the visitations of three spirits to force our hand at this type of consideration, the holiday season is a period that naturally draws our minds towards reflection. Whether you have wonderful memories or painful memories that surface this time of year, Christmas invites remembrance. The smells seem richer, the colors more vibrant against the cloudy grays, and the songs merrier. 'Tis the season for nostalgia, perhaps. And I want to let this memory-filled season serve as a deeper invocation to a new practice, a practice of seasonal reflection to stir us towards deeper living.
In the coming weeks, I'll explore some ways that we can intentionally move towards healing and growth by how we prepare ourselves for upcoming seasons. Since we are in this first week of Advent (arrival), the beginning of the Christian calendar year marked by celebrating the birth of Jesus, it is the perfect time for this sort of reflection. I want to invite you to reflect on your past experiences of the holiday season.
Below are a few questions to stir some thoughtful reflection and, hopefully, shape your attention in this season. Be sure to spend some time with these questions and let them sink in a bit. Whether it's natural for you or not, acknowledge your genuine experience and inner world, knowing that there will be some need and longing for healing and renewal. This is expected. We live in between the first and second advent; so, there is enough room to be full of hope in the mess while awaiting the whole of our story to find renewal.
What memories return to you during this time each year? What might those memories be trying to teach you?
Each year I am full of joyous memories of Christmas, but they are also accompanied with a hint of sadness. It's as if those memories ask me, "will it ever be this good again? Will it ever be carefree, innocent, pure, or childlike for you?" Those are questions that say something about my present experience and my current sense of place in the world.
What do I truly long for in this holiday season?
Do you want to recreate some of the childlike wonder? Be more connected with your friends/family? Discover a way to be more present to the significant moments you are choosing to prioritize? Sometimes we can only imagine the bare minimum for ourselves. If this is you, name it. Start there. “I want there to be less conflict around the holiday dinner table!” At some point it may be helpful to dream beyond that, but let it be the beginning.
What new traditions do I want to begin or continue this year?
Over the years, these traditions create deep memories that carry more weight than any painful Christmases of past. They can open avenues of healing through new encounters with significant loved ones.